The Onion is a treasure. One of its stories this week is just perfect:
AUSTIN, TX—After 18 years of striving, Dell Computer finally reached its long-stated goal to be the worldwide leader in computing systems Monday and promptly ceased operations.
“We did it,” founder and CEO Michael Dell said. “Back when I started this company, I vowed that I would not rest until we revolutionized the way computers are sold. Well, at long last, that day is here. Bye.”
When he launched the company in 1984, Dell drew up a lengthy list of longterm corporate goals. These included making Dell Computer the world’s most trusted name in computer systems, the industry leader for customer service and technical support, and a model for direct-order retail in the 21st century and beyond.
“There were a lot of goals I wanted to accomplish, but those three were probably the biggest,” said Dell, clearing out his desk at the company’s Austin headquarters. “Done, done, and done.”
